Is Safe Enough?

Today's blog is my reflections that stemmed from various conversations/interactions I've had recently. The first of which occurred between me and a friend (Paul):

Me: "I'm not a pessimist. I'm just rational. Being rational is safer."
Paul: "But is safe enough?"

Now, maybe to most of you this doesn't really hold much significance. And, to be honest, it held a lot more meaning in the moment (there's something meaningful about talking under a sky full of stars). However, the question tugged at me the rest of that evening and kept replaying in my mind throughout the weekend. God was clearly trying to tell me something these past few days and I'm only hoping I've gotten the gist of it.

For the past few months-most of my college career actually-I've been constantly focused on the future. I ponder what my career will be, who will be in my life, where I will live. College has felt like something to get through; a step to climb to reach the point where 'real life' will begin. I've never had a clear path in mind (as indicated by my multiple changes in majors) and the fact has made this time period even harder. I know I want to do something radical, something that will make an impact. But that goal has usually always seemed to be waiting on the future. Until now.

When Paul asked me that question, I began thinking about the way I live my life now. Every decision I make is thought out, every plan clearly organized. I've never considered myself to be the type of person to avoid adventures or to shy away from risks. In reality, though, that's exactly what I've been doing. Sure, I took a chance by transferring to a new school, but not before I made a thorough pro's and con's list. I was playing it safe; I was being rational. In my mind, it was better to be safe. I had experienced enough disappointments and hurts in the past to know that I wanted to avoid more. I also wanted to feel like I was in control. But God has been trying to teach me that this is not the way He wants me to live.

After my conversation with Paul, several more people spoke into my life, unknowingly: A coworker shared with me his dreams in life and his passion for thinking outside the box; another good friend shared ideas with me about his own thoughts about the future and how his mistakes have helped him learn; the pastor at church on Sunday encouraged us to live our life with Heaven as our focus, knowing that our hurts will one day be gone. Each of these interactions helped reinforce the message that I need to be living for Him right here, right now. I cannot be afraid of the possible pain because He has me in His arms. He has called us to live radically, dangerously in the face of our society. To be stuck in our comfort zones is to give in to the powers of this world. We aren't changing anything in His name if we aren't willing to step out and trust Him. I'm not saying to forgo all logic and do something foolish. But to be in constant fear of taking the wrong step is to take away His place as the Ruler of our lives.

So today I issue a challenge to myself and to all of you: Take that step of faith-accept that new job that scares you, move to that new city, ask out the girl you've grown to care for, go on that trip across the ocean. Even the 'smaller' choices we make can go a long way towards putting our trust in Him.

Something's Changed...

Ever have one of those nights where you know you won't be able to shut your brain off long enough to go to sleep? I have those regularly. But, after the week I just had they may become even more common.

This last week I was a camp counselor at Michiana Christian Service Camp. I served as part of the Impact Ministries team. To say that it was a life-changing experience would be an understatement. Going into the week, I wasn't really sure my heart was in it. I was already tired from the previous week and as an introvert by nature, the whole process did seem a bit daunting. By Tuesday, however, I had already lost my heart to a group of high-schoolers. I had not completely prepared myself for the blessing those relationships would bring or the sense of joy I would feel as I led those campers through God's Word and His promises. On top of it all, I was in a place surrounded by people who wanted to praise and honor the Lord. I was away from my usual distractions and from the preconceived notions that my friends have about me. I was in a place with mostly new faces and it was a very refreshing and rejuvenating time. My mind keeps replaying images and conversations from the week and reinforcing the insights they brought. I can't imagine now where I'd be if I hadn't agreed to serve there.

My thoughts are also retracing each step I took today and the conversations that occurred. It was another good day with my friends at the beach, but it feels different tonight somehow. Maybe I was changed more than I realized at camp or maybe something about today really was out of the ordinary. Either way, today felt more vivid, more important in some way. I know, it sounds a bit crazy to me too. That's what this is for though; to express my crazy thoughts in a controlled manner. To sum in all up, today just felt more real to me. I feel like I learned something new about each of the people I interacted with today and because of that, I've grown to care about them even more. Even though I can't make sense of it, I still find it to be a blessing. Whether I sleep tonight or not.

Oh, the People You'll Meet

I've had a very eventful past few days and I've been thinking a lot about relationships. My first thought is that the world is such a small place in reality. I have been making connections with people who have connections with people who have connections, and so on. The connectedness of it all astounds me. I love figuring out how each person fits in with the rest of my life.

The second - and maybe more important - insight is thinking about how various people have impacted my life and are impacting my life at this very moment. I meet new people all the time and I don't always stop to think about how they've each affected me. Sometimes people come into my life for a day or two and then I never see them again. Other times, someone new will come into my life and I don't expect much to come from the relationship but weeks later I realized that they've become an integral part of the world around me. I have been blessed recently to be able to build some new friendships that I know will last. But, at the same time, these new relationships remind me of ones that I've lost over the years. The main thing I'm learning through all this random pondering is just the inevitability of change. Life brings new experiences every day. Our job is to greet them and learn from each one as it comes.