I strongly dislike the rain. Well, that’s not completely accurate. I really just dislike the feeling that rainy weather gives me. Or any weather without sunshine, really. I am very clearly solar-powered; my emotions are affected by the change in weather in a way that sometimes scares me. When the sky is gray, I have to consciously battle against feelings of despondency or else give in to the strong desire to mope. I truly love watching the beauty that is a thunderstorm or the sound rain makes on my roof, but the overcast color in the air will never be a comfort to me.
I got to spend time this weekend with a couple of the most genuine people I know and it was insanely refreshing. I have only encountered a handful of people in my life that I would call truly genuine, a fact that I find to be quite tragic. Most of those in my world succeed at being genuine an honorable amount of the time; myself included. But the trait of being genuine is one that I find particularly appealing and thus I am drawn to those who seem to possess it more naturally.
What in the world does this have to do with rain, you ask? In my mind, those who are genuine do not live in a gray world. For them, life is much more black-and-white. They – whether by natural giftedness or learned ability – have been able to know themselves well enough that they walk through life without wearing masks or putting on airs. It is often our nature to maintain various facades, adjusting to our current circumstances and attempting to blend in. I am not saying that it isn’t pertinent at times to be able to relate to those around you. But far too many of us fall into the trap of performing – we become, in some sense, the person we think is best suited for that particular context. Sometimes this habit is quite obvious; other times, the only one who may notice is the one making the changes. Either way, I have found that being disloyal to myself is one of the most damaging things I can do to my soul. I have found over my few years that true rest of the Spirit often comes when I am at my most honest, my most genuine. When every part of myself – the person I am in private, the person I am inside my head, the person others see and the person I am on paper – come together, I feel as if the sun has finally been turned on again. Sadly, this doesn’t fully happen as often as I’d like, but I’m beginning to learn that the way to become truly genuine is to recognize who God has created me to be and to embrace every aspect of that, both good and bad. It certainly isn’t a fool-proof process and there’s a 100% chance of failure, but to work towards the goal of getting out of the gray seems to me to be worth all of the work it takes.
To those of you who have been able to move closer into the realm of the genuine, thank you. Thank you for loving those around you enough to be yourself. And thank you for refreshing my life and giving me a goal to work towards.
