My heart begins to make a gong out of my rib cage; my insides instantly heat up as though set over a burner; my entire body tenses, rigid as stone. The whole fight-or-flight response is completely moot; my brain is inches away from carrying my body in any direction to flee the perceived danger. Logic and reason war against my innate desire to preserve all pretense of safety. The cause could be rational and justified or a product of paranoia stemming from an ill-fated past experience. My adrenaline glands rarely pause to inquire into such time-consuming ponderings. My default reaction - my basic human flaw - is that four-letter word that is quite a bit more infamous than any of its counterparts: fear.
Most of us are no stranger to being afraid, and I can't say that I experience it any more than the next person. I do know, however, that I find myself being fearful in far more situations that I'd like. My fear can come from any number of events: I am forced to do something I have never done before, something I deem as dangerous; I am out walking alone and encounter a stranger that my mind labels as 'unsafe;' I look into the eyes of someone I care about and know that one day they will inevitably disappoint me. Any of these situations can make me want to run away, avoid the danger, save myself from any kind of pain. But, despite my best efforts, avoiding the things that I fear would mean I'd need to live as a hermit in a plastic bubble.
So, what do I do instead? I cling to the only stable Source of safety I have. I run to His arms and know that He will hold my hand. I will still be afraid; I will still face situations that scare my pants off. But these fears don't have to turn me into a paranoid pile of jell-o. I can face them knowing I have more on my side, that I am not facing them alone.
"God is bigger than the boogey-man..."
Totally agree, fear can completely derail life. Jill and I battle it a lot with the support raising. Literally feeling we are one step away from financial ruin, yet knowing God is in this and shows himself on such a regular basis. he has provided time and again even though we are living on far less than we ever thought possible. It makes us cling to him all the more and we have to trust that he will not let us fall. It can be so scary at times, and as the main provider for my wife and daughters, feeling like I am not providing for them scares and frustrates me. God is still bigger and I rest in that comfort. Thanks for being transparent.
ReplyDeleteOne of my favorite stories in the bible demonstrates this greatly.
ReplyDelete|Mark 4:35-41
That day when evening came, he said to his disciples, “Let us go over to the other side.” Leaving the crowd behind, they took him along, just as he was, in the boat. There were also other boats with him. A furious squall came up, and the waves broke over the boat, so that it was nearly swamped. 38 Jesus was in the stern, sleeping on a cushion. The disciples woke him and said to him, “Teacher, don’t you care if we drown?” He got up, rebuked the wind and said to the waves, “Quiet! Be still!” Then the wind died down and it was completely calm. He said to his disciples, “Why are you so afraid? Do you still have no faith?” They were terrified and asked each other, “Who is this? Even the wind and the waves obey him!”|
Thank you for posting this! Love it!
Lindsay, you are an encouragement to me. Just want you to know that.
ReplyDelete